im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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