I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
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Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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