stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize