Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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