I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
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The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
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My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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