her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The beer is more important than you right now.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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