I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize