Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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