these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize