he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize