she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize