When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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