We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
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Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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