So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
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Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
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