Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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