Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
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I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
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I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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