I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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