I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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