I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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