I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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