my vag is so smooth its legendary
he puts the penis in happiness.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
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The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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