Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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