Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize