I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize