he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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