i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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