Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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