All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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