i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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