Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize