I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
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you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
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She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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