I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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