I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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