i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize