But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
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There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
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Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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