why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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