you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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