He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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