i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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