She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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