she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize