READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i can't believe i had my finger in that
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize