Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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