he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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