I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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