I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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