please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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