he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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