I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
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I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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