so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
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Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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