matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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