the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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